BUNMILOFE'S MUSINGS

It must be so hard to be a rat Stay in the bush and a snake might eat you Run to the house and someone will kill you Oh the dreadful sorry life of a rat Do cats have it better? Often homeless, at the mercy of the weather Loved by few, suspected by many I bet cats are scared and annoyed, very The sight of one is reason enough to cast and bind Even its owner is considered unkind But dog is man’s best friend Or so they say Many a dog are loved without end Till you go to Agege where they are left to stray At the mercy of dog haters, shooters, even eaters I doubt that a dog’s life is much sweeter Who has it worst? Must be the cockroach Constantly surrounded by reproach Of suffering rodents, cockroaches are the head Man’s constant desire is to see it dead Probably why God gave roaches nine lives And allows its eggs multiply like Solomon’s wives What is man that you are mindful of him And the son of man that you care for him I

Is it just me or did the sallah break come at the best of times?  Amidst the deliverables of work and everyday living, my biggest concern over the last two weeks had been the impending resumption. It's not that my children are resuming school, neither am I a teacher or anything of the sort. I am just a Lagos dweller shivering in anticipation of the post-resumption traffic that hits Lagos like a wave. The frenzy is so thick it can be touched. Parents and school busses competing to get sleep-ridden children to school before the day even breaks. Horns blaring, words flying, everyone rushing, no one succumbing. And you can hardly blame them, sleep deprived people who left their houses before the cock could crow only to get caught in the same traffic they were trying to beat, exasperating. Totally exasperating. Hence, for me, the holiday felt like a good transition into the hustle and bustle of traffic season. Two days of quality sleep and a Wednesday to start the week, no b

Barrister Solomon Dalung is the honourable minister of sports. But that is not his claim to fame.  He became a household name when he decided to re-christen our beloved nation United States of Nigeria as opposed to the Federal Republic of Nigeria we have all come to accept and love. Perhaps he was attempting to send a ‘let’s unite’ message to the different states in the federation, who knows? But this post is not even about the US of N, that is water under the bridge. On our drive to work this morning, uncle bae and I could not help laughing out loud when @Jimidisu commented on the capabilities of Dalung as an honourable minister of the federation. Among other factors, uncle Jimi was concerned about Dalung’s dressing, completely convinced that no one will take Dalung serious as long as he keeps dressing like that. True or False? I decided to find out, and it seems like Uncle Dalung actually has a unique sense of style- his beret and conductor (as my father likes to call that shor

Hello people, It's been a while. August has been so full. I have been so busy, especially in my brain, just going through the motions ticking off items on my to-do list. It has not been gloomy though, just busy. I missed two weddings I so looked forward to attending but my parents visited and I had a great time retreating at the couple's clinic (watch out for a post on this). I have also had the privilege of housing my pretty sister who is the subject of this post. You see, she just recently clocked sixteen. And it is amazing to watch her live her sixteen year old life. Her topmost worries fluctuate between 'Post Jamb screening', 'data for Whatsapp', 'something mummy said', the songs her friends like and all these boys who won't leave her alone. She is forming philosophies and picking out nicknames, trying to decide what her style is and pursue her passions. I like that she is purposeful and passionate, interested in making money as much as

Danfo Chronicles- First time ever! Can you believe it? It actually happened to me! Me, a certified danfo huger, propagator of danfo manners, authour of danfo chronicles. I never imagined it could happen to me. I mean, not after all these years in Lagos. When I was a fresher in the herculean task of travelling around Lagos perhaps, but not now. I could have given a speech on danfo comportment, delivered a piece on surviving Lagos busses or even my own tiny e-book titled; '5 tricks Lagos conductors do not want you to know' / 'managing your emotions to collect your change' or better still 'No conductor can swindle you'. Well, ladies and gentle men, it happened to me yesterday. I forgot my 'change' with the bus driver, a whooping sum of 200 Naira. I still cannot believe it, but it happened to me. So this morning, as a sharp 'geh', I walked to my usual bus terminal with a determination to demand my money.  I did, I found the man and requested fo

Almost everyone in my inner circle knows I would rather not be living where I live. I easily blame 60% of the stress triggers in my life on the fact that I live there. When I ask my friends over, I use words like ‘when are you coming to Cameroon to see me’, even though I actually live in Lagos. My house itself is comfortable and beautiful, if only I could carry it to some other part of Lagos. I tell anyone that is willing to listen how living where I live is not a smart choice if you don’t run your own business or have absolute control over your time. The traffic is unending, the roads are narrow and when it rains, it’s time to wade. Blah, blah, blah I go on. The only good thing I see about living in that area is the amazing man with whom I live there. Then this morning, I sat in the same bus with a colleague from work. Hardly a colleague as I do not even know his name, never had any work relation with him. I just know we work for the same firm and might have said ‘hi’ at the lunc

Do you know there's a tea for everything? You are shocked right, I was too when I discovered.  If everyone was like me, the tea industry will be non existent. When people ask me, do you drink tea? I smile and nod, 'green tea' I say before you ask the mandatory 'what kind of tea' question. What I often neglect to say is that I drink so much green tea that I only buy one pack every three months. Pack here does not mean carton, it means pack. So the other day, I bounced into Blenco, made my way to the tea session wanting to just pick my green tea and get out. But the shelf would not let me. I was awe struck by the sheer number of tea types there are. Bright eyes tea, smoother skin tea, arthritis tea, man& woman love tea, sharper mind tea, muscle tea, longer hair tea. Name it, there is a tea for it. Got me wondering, are these teas actually effective or is the tea market under the spot light for 'scam of the year'? I mean, if muscle building tea

I have a love-hate relationship with tricycles. Also called kekes, I am yet to make up my mind as to how I feel about those things. They appear to be safer and more comfortable than bikes (okadas) but they are not anywhere near cars. After several experiments, I still cannot decide, is the backseat more comfortable than the half-seat by the driver in front? First, one would think the back is more comfortable till you have to sit between two people blessed with an ample size. Even when your seat partners are moderately sized, the shifting and dressing you have to do when one person has to get down is mighty uncomfortable. Particularly because, unlike in a car, you can not pick a safe corner by the door (or opening, since there are no windows). While you are busy getting comfortable, somebody will hop in beside you, suddenly commanding you to dress . The keke opens both ways so you cannot complain. At such times, the front appears to be better. At least, you will maintain the same

It's my baby sister's valedictory service in a few weeks and all the preparation is taking me way back, sending me on a trip down memory lane. I remember the days when my most paramount concern was how to make my hair grow long enough to weave for valedictory service. I remember the consultations with my friends about what each person should wear and the ensuing arguments with my mum about the definition of 'decent'. I can't believe it's been so long already. Where did all the time go? How did I go from worrying about my Biology result to worrying about house rent? I remember hanging out with my friends, counting the days to the release of our jamb results. Hanging out was basically playing games in Oyinkan's house, watching movies in Bolu's house or pretending to be singers at Tomiini's house. All those Saturdays Deola, Lolade, Moyo and I spent looking for okada on the streets of Ibara GRA talking about boys, teens church, Nora Roberts  and the la

You know that feeling when you have been hoping for something, looking forward to it and praying for it, then gbam, heaven sends you a smile and it happens. You feel on top of the world, certain that nothing can get in your way, the world looks good to you. For a few days, then you get used to that thing and want something new. Why are we like that? Why is our satisfaction threshold so limited. I remember the times I prayed for the things I have now, but amazingly, I sometimes catch myself complaining. Oh, this job is great but if only I didn't have to get up so early. Oh I love my husband but why does he have to watch so much football. Whoa, this car is the bomb, but it does not have a Bluetooth voice enhancer. Buts, buts, more buts. We always have buts. I do not totally think buts are terrible as I am a firm believer in the school of thought that you need a certain degree of dissatisfaction with your current situation to desire something better. And since no matter how g