BUNMILOFE'S MUSINGS

She felt the hand come closer. She knew what it meant. Holding her breath, she counted the seconds, wondering what to do this time. It was the fourth time in two weeks and she had said ‘no’ three times already. Could she say ‘no’ again? Why was he so persistent anyway? ‘Do not defraud your husband’, her pastor’s voice echoed in her ears as she felt the hand rest on her arm, testing the waters. But it was not like she intentionally wanted to defraud her husband. It was raining outside and she wasn’t near asleep so it could very well have been a perfect night. Except that they had warned her. Don’t bend o , don’t stand for long , don’t jump or do anything rigorous , avoid anything that will stress you , don’t even meet with your husband- rough play can break your eggs . Pppppffff, very funny, she had dismissed them at first, old wives’ tales that had no meaning. Until she woke up to blood tricking down her legs, her brain trying to solve the maths- maybe it was that ti

Is it just me or did the sallah break come at the best of times?  Amidst the deliverables of work and everyday living, my biggest concern over the last two weeks had been the impending resumption. It's not that my children are resuming school, neither am I a teacher or anything of the sort. I am just a Lagos dweller shivering in anticipation of the post-resumption traffic that hits Lagos like a wave. The frenzy is so thick it can be touched. Parents and school busses competing to get sleep-ridden children to school before the day even breaks. Horns blaring, words flying, everyone rushing, no one succumbing. And you can hardly blame them, sleep deprived people who left their houses before the cock could crow only to get caught in the same traffic they were trying to beat, exasperating. Totally exasperating. Hence, for me, the holiday felt like a good transition into the hustle and bustle of traffic season. Two days of quality sleep and a Wednesday to start the week, no b

Danfo Chronicles- First time ever! Can you believe it? It actually happened to me! Me, a certified danfo huger, propagator of danfo manners, authour of danfo chronicles. I never imagined it could happen to me. I mean, not after all these years in Lagos. When I was a fresher in the herculean task of travelling around Lagos perhaps, but not now. I could have given a speech on danfo comportment, delivered a piece on surviving Lagos busses or even my own tiny e-book titled; '5 tricks Lagos conductors do not want you to know' / 'managing your emotions to collect your change' or better still 'No conductor can swindle you'. Well, ladies and gentle men, it happened to me yesterday. I forgot my 'change' with the bus driver, a whooping sum of 200 Naira. I still cannot believe it, but it happened to me. So this morning, as a sharp 'geh', I walked to my usual bus terminal with a determination to demand my money.  I did, I found the man and requested fo

Almost everyone in my inner circle knows I would rather not be living where I live. I easily blame 60% of the stress triggers in my life on the fact that I live there. When I ask my friends over, I use words like ‘when are you coming to Cameroon to see me’, even though I actually live in Lagos. My house itself is comfortable and beautiful, if only I could carry it to some other part of Lagos. I tell anyone that is willing to listen how living where I live is not a smart choice if you don’t run your own business or have absolute control over your time. The traffic is unending, the roads are narrow and when it rains, it’s time to wade. Blah, blah, blah I go on. The only good thing I see about living in that area is the amazing man with whom I live there. Then this morning, I sat in the same bus with a colleague from work. Hardly a colleague as I do not even know his name, never had any work relation with him. I just know we work for the same firm and might have said ‘hi’ at the lunc

Do you know there's a tea for everything? You are shocked right, I was too when I discovered.  If everyone was like me, the tea industry will be non existent. When people ask me, do you drink tea? I smile and nod, 'green tea' I say before you ask the mandatory 'what kind of tea' question. What I often neglect to say is that I drink so much green tea that I only buy one pack every three months. Pack here does not mean carton, it means pack. So the other day, I bounced into Blenco, made my way to the tea session wanting to just pick my green tea and get out. But the shelf would not let me. I was awe struck by the sheer number of tea types there are. Bright eyes tea, smoother skin tea, arthritis tea, man& woman love tea, sharper mind tea, muscle tea, longer hair tea. Name it, there is a tea for it. Got me wondering, are these teas actually effective or is the tea market under the spot light for 'scam of the year'? I mean, if muscle building tea

I have a love-hate relationship with tricycles. Also called kekes, I am yet to make up my mind as to how I feel about those things. They appear to be safer and more comfortable than bikes (okadas) but they are not anywhere near cars. After several experiments, I still cannot decide, is the backseat more comfortable than the half-seat by the driver in front? First, one would think the back is more comfortable till you have to sit between two people blessed with an ample size. Even when your seat partners are moderately sized, the shifting and dressing you have to do when one person has to get down is mighty uncomfortable. Particularly because, unlike in a car, you can not pick a safe corner by the door (or opening, since there are no windows). While you are busy getting comfortable, somebody will hop in beside you, suddenly commanding you to dress . The keke opens both ways so you cannot complain. At such times, the front appears to be better. At least, you will maintain the same