BUNMILOFE'S MUSINGS

She felt the hand come closer. She knew what it meant. Holding her breath, she counted the seconds, wondering what to do this time. It was the fourth time in two weeks and she had said ‘no’ three times already. Could she say ‘no’ again? Why was he so persistent anyway? ‘Do not defraud your husband’, her pastor’s voice echoed in her ears as she felt the hand rest on her arm, testing the waters. But it was not like she intentionally wanted to defraud her husband. It was raining outside and she wasn’t near asleep so it could very well have been a perfect night. Except that they had warned her. Don’t bend o , don’t stand for long , don’t jump or do anything rigorous , avoid anything that will stress you , don’t even meet with your husband- rough play can break your eggs . Pppppffff, very funny, she had dismissed them at first, old wives’ tales that had no meaning. Until she woke up to blood tricking down her legs, her brain trying to solve the maths- maybe it was that ti...

The terrifying picture of how unbearable in-laws can be does not wait for you to marry. It manifests in your neighbour’s house, reaffirms its existence in the gist your mother and her friends share. And if you need any confirmation, Nollywood will gladly do the honours. The result is that long before we say ‘I do’, we have already mapped out strategies to say ‘I don’t’ to our in-laws, especially the mother-in-law.   However, this is merely a single story, unfair in its one sided representation. Adjusting to your in-laws is mega work and many husbands have been forced to choose between their sweet mother and the love of their lives, but are these feuds really necessary? Perhaps there is a different perspective from which we can consider these issues. First, I don’t understand why the wife and mother have to compete for the man’s heart. In my opinion, both represent different kinds of love and should have separate places in your heart. One is your beginning; the other is y...

I saw this on Nigeriana today and I found it quite hilarious.  So, Durmet a Spanish company recently created the world's first ever cheater catching mattress that is capable of detecting unusual actions on the bed through installed censors and a contact zone detector. This means if your husband or wife executed some action while you are away, your bed will tell you when you return. Talk about technological aproko! I wonder if that thing will work in a place like Nigeria though. I mean, there are so many options to explore if you have cheating in your blood. What are the odds that you will take your cheating partner home to your matrimonial bed? We need some more personal detector that is probably attached to the person's body- a chip or something. A device that can tell you where your spouse is and what s/he is doing right now. Like a mobile CCTV installed on your spouse's body. That kind of thing.  It was just last week some lady on one of Jerry Springer...