BUNMILOFE'S MUSINGS

I saw this on Nigeriana today and I found it quite hilarious.  So, Durmet a Spanish company recently created the world's first ever cheater catching mattress that is capable of detecting unusual actions on the bed through installed censors and a contact zone detector. This means if your husband or wife executed some action while you are away, your bed will tell you when you return. Talk about technological aproko! I wonder if that thing will work in a place like Nigeria though. I mean, there are so many options to explore if you have cheating in your blood. What are the odds that you will take your cheating partner home to your matrimonial bed? We need some more personal detector that is probably attached to the person's body- a chip or something. A device that can tell you where your spouse is and what s/he is doing right now. Like a mobile CCTV installed on your spouse's body. That kind of thing.  It was just last week some lady on one of Jerry Springer

You know how politicians and politically aware people eagerly await a new government’s 100 days in office? Publications highlighting the government’s achievements in the time frame, bearing assurances and fresh promises to silence wailing wailers flood the media. 100 days in office is usually a big deal. Since my husband is so into politics and so not into anniversaries, I decided to ignore our 3 months month-niversary and celebrate 100 days in marriage instead. Well, it didn’t quite work. And that’s perhaps where I should start. There are several things the bride does not hear before she becomes a wife. Many she is outrightly not told, others she is too happy or too busy to understand. Then she gets married and after the long awaited event, her ‘eyes clear’.  Sometimes, the giddy feeling lasts till the honeymoon is over, but when she returns home with her husband, reality hits. Even when the new wife has the most understanding husband and uninterested far-away in-laws

The first time UncleBae saw Northwest filling station, he commented that a filling station sharing name with Kimye's first child can hardly mean any good. Turns out he was right. the filling station has become an addendum to an already bad situation. Usually, when you escape ajah traffic and drive to Ilaje, you breathe a sign of relief. Not any-more. Now, VGC is where the traffic is. Endless fuel queues traceable to Northwest are messing up the road. Sunday was a complete shut down, with people grounded for hours on the road. It's no better this early Monday morning too. As at 5:20, there was already traffic all the way to VGC, cest tres terrible. Ajahrians are calling on LASTMA and everyone who can help, please save us from Northwest oo. Of course, we are side-eyeing Kachikwu too, oga do something biko , this fuel scarcity has gone on for too long. As it is now, you have even more reason to pray before leaving home, that our leaders will find a way to make life easier

Fidelity Bank Plc, one of the country’s most capitalised financial institutions, on Thursday said its gross earnings for the period ended December 31, 2015 grew to N146.9 billion from N136.1 billion recorded in 2014 Financial Year (FY). In the same vein, it promised shareholders N4.6 billion as dividend payout, thus maintaining  a tradition of consistent dividend pay-out for the past six years. According to the lender’s audited financial statements for the period under review, Fidelity Bank posted a rise of 7.9 percent and 0.8 percent in its gross earnings and profit respectively, despite the nation’s harsh operating environment characterised by regulatory and economic headwinds. Profit after Tax (PAT) for the period ended December 31, 2015 rose marginally to N13.9 billion as against N13.8 billion made in the comparable period last year. Whereas total equity increased by 6.0 percent to N183.5 billion from N173.1 billion in 2014 FY, net operating income stood at N83.9 billion, a mo

Can you believe it? Ayefele was in my environs, I knew it, yet I wasn't there! It was a first of April concert in one of the churches along the Ajah-Addo road and the publicity had been on since forever. With acts like Ayefele(world acclaimed alujo king), Uncle Sammie Okposo(he's an uncle o, been in the industry too long for us to just call his name abeg) and Apororo (neighbour-bour-bour eye-shinning crooner) showing up, I so had plans to go, but real life got in the way. Did anyone I know attend? How was it? Why does real life have to be such a wet blanket all the time sef?! Wondering what real life is? It's responsibilities, things you absolutely have to do sooner or later. Like house-chores, hosting family members, preparing for the new work week and getting a good Friday night sleep so that you don't lose it and go bonkers soon. Ok, so where is the next concert happening? just send the info my way and I'll try to make it there, real life or not!

L-R: Managing Director/Chief Executive Officer, Fidelity Bank Plc., Nnamdi Okonkwo; Chief Executive Officer, Nigerian Export Promotion Council, NEPC, Segun Awolowo and Representative of the Dean, Lagos Business School, Dr. Frank Ojadi at a joint press conference on Export Management Program aimed primarily at enhancing export readiness of micro small and medium scale enterprises, MSMEs in Nigeria which took place in Lagos…Tuesday As part of efforts to accelerate the diversification of Nigeria’s monolithic economy, Fidelity Bank Plc, one of the nation’s most capitalised financial institutions, Lagos Business School (LBS) and the Nigerian Export Promotion Council (NEPC) has entered into a tripartite agreement aimed at enhancing the export readiness of Micro Small and Medium Enterprises (MSMEs) through a robust capacity building initiative.  Dubbed Export Management Programme (EMP), this laudable initiative is designed specifically to provide impactful, world-class training n

Anyone who lives around Ajah can testify to how difficult it was to get anywhere on Sunday. Many commuters who left home with plans to go to church turned back midway when it was clear they were going to get nowhere. The ones who attempted to brave it or were in too deep to make a U-turn ended up conducting their worship service in their cars. To think Sundays are meant to be traffic-free days kwa?! My hair stylist could hardly walk properly when I saw her later in the evening. According to her, she left Badore at after 9 in the morning and didn't get to VGC till well after 11. Naija tweet-sphere, especially  +GIDITRAFFIC  was rid with complaints and lamentations. The discomfort was heightened by the fuel situation. Hard earned fuel wasted in traffic on a Sunday morning. Yes, Ajah traffic has always been bad, but now its even worse, it is now a prayer point. For those of you residing in less problematic areas, say a prayer for us or dash us your gallon of petrol. Apparently