BUNMILOFE'S MUSINGS

Is it just me or did the sallah break come at the best of times?  Amidst the deliverables of work and everyday living, my biggest concern over the last two weeks had been the impending resumption. It's not that my children are resuming school, neither am I a teacher or anything of the sort. I am just a Lagos dweller shivering in anticipation of the post-resumption traffic that hits Lagos like a wave. The frenzy is so thick it can be touched. Parents and school busses competing to get sleep-ridden children to school before the day even breaks. Horns blaring, words flying, everyone rushing, no one succumbing. And you can hardly blame them, sleep deprived people who left their houses before the cock could crow only to get caught in the same traffic they were trying to beat, exasperating. Totally exasperating. Hence, for me, the holiday felt like a good transition into the hustle and bustle of traffic season. Two days of quality sleep and a Wednesday to start the week, no b

In ‘stupid song’, Bez recounted the silly songs we all enjoyed as kids. More recently there have been heart shattering discoveries undoing the very foundation on which our education was built. Discoveries like ‘Sandalili’ is actually “Standard Living”; ‘Jangulova epo moto’ is actually “Jingle Over like a motor” etc?  Heart shattering discoveries capable of making you doubt everything you know. For Instance, are you sure you know the real meaning of MR NIGER D or BODMAS? Guest blogger,  @Oyebilan   uncovers the truth behind some funny stories we believed as kids. Whoever spreads these stories anyway? Are we already telling such stories to our kids or creating brand new versions of generational ‘bobo’. In this social media age, garnishing and serving bobo is even easier, God help us! Marshall McLuhan was right, growth is only possible when humans are willing to learn, unlearn and relearn. Enjoy. Nigeria VS India: 99 - 1 Though there are many variations of the story, ever

How did we even come about a day for celebrating jollof rice? Did some extremely busy diplomats ever hold a meeting to discuss the importance of this meal and separate a day unto it? Perhaps its influence in West AFrican unity and inter-country relations. Everyone knows I am a huge jollof fan though, so I have no complaints. Just wondering. For me, jollof rice is a ready reminder that the race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, time and chance happens to them all. I mean, picture fried rice and all the preparation that goes into it. It costs more to prepare and is sometimes reserved for special occasions. Jollof on the other hand is easily accessible. People do not have to think twice before making it and it requires only the basics. Yet, it enjoys widespread acceptance, unwavering loyalty and total love from all and sundry. I know lots of people who do not particularly appreciate fried rice, but i have hardly met anyone who will turn down a plate of jollof. That j

Hello people, It's been a while. August has been so full. I have been so busy, especially in my brain, just going through the motions ticking off items on my to-do list. It has not been gloomy though, just busy. I missed two weddings I so looked forward to attending but my parents visited and I had a great time retreating at the couple's clinic (watch out for a post on this). I have also had the privilege of housing my pretty sister who is the subject of this post. You see, she just recently clocked sixteen. And it is amazing to watch her live her sixteen year old life. Her topmost worries fluctuate between 'Post Jamb screening', 'data for Whatsapp', 'something mummy said', the songs her friends like and all these boys who won't leave her alone. She is forming philosophies and picking out nicknames, trying to decide what her style is and pursue her passions. I like that she is purposeful and passionate, interested in making money as much as

Danfo Chronicles- First time ever! Can you believe it? It actually happened to me! Me, a certified danfo huger, propagator of danfo manners, authour of danfo chronicles. I never imagined it could happen to me. I mean, not after all these years in Lagos. When I was a fresher in the herculean task of travelling around Lagos perhaps, but not now. I could have given a speech on danfo comportment, delivered a piece on surviving Lagos busses or even my own tiny e-book titled; '5 tricks Lagos conductors do not want you to know' / 'managing your emotions to collect your change' or better still 'No conductor can swindle you'. Well, ladies and gentle men, it happened to me yesterday. I forgot my 'change' with the bus driver, a whooping sum of 200 Naira. I still cannot believe it, but it happened to me. So this morning, as a sharp 'geh', I walked to my usual bus terminal with a determination to demand my money.  I did, I found the man and requested fo

Almost everyone in my inner circle knows I would rather not be living where I live. I easily blame 60% of the stress triggers in my life on the fact that I live there. When I ask my friends over, I use words like ‘when are you coming to Cameroon to see me’, even though I actually live in Lagos. My house itself is comfortable and beautiful, if only I could carry it to some other part of Lagos. I tell anyone that is willing to listen how living where I live is not a smart choice if you don’t run your own business or have absolute control over your time. The traffic is unending, the roads are narrow and when it rains, it’s time to wade. Blah, blah, blah I go on. The only good thing I see about living in that area is the amazing man with whom I live there. Then this morning, I sat in the same bus with a colleague from work. Hardly a colleague as I do not even know his name, never had any work relation with him. I just know we work for the same firm and might have said ‘hi’ at the lunc

Do you know there's a tea for everything? You are shocked right, I was too when I discovered.  If everyone was like me, the tea industry will be non existent. When people ask me, do you drink tea? I smile and nod, 'green tea' I say before you ask the mandatory 'what kind of tea' question. What I often neglect to say is that I drink so much green tea that I only buy one pack every three months. Pack here does not mean carton, it means pack. So the other day, I bounced into Blenco, made my way to the tea session wanting to just pick my green tea and get out. But the shelf would not let me. I was awe struck by the sheer number of tea types there are. Bright eyes tea, smoother skin tea, arthritis tea, man& woman love tea, sharper mind tea, muscle tea, longer hair tea. Name it, there is a tea for it. Got me wondering, are these teas actually effective or is the tea market under the spot light for 'scam of the year'? I mean, if muscle building tea

For a long time, Classic powder has comfortably occupied the space allocated to powder in my head. Every time it breaks (which is practically every month), I walk into a supermarket and pick up  another one. I never consider other options or see reason to change. No, I was faithful to classic. Until recently. Staring at my face in the office restroom mirror at 5:00 pm one day, I asked myself ' who would imagine  I wore powder this morning '. Just like that, my commitment to Classic evaporated, quickly replaced with a desire for a new powder. My make up artist (who has made me up the two times I ever desired proper make up in my entire life) told me a number of times that Milani would be perfect for my face. I believed him, I still do. Only that Rita Dominic looks so flawless in the Zaron billboard at the foot of third mainland bridge. No lines, no smears, no colours- such flawless beauty makes me want to look like that  everyday. It somehow never registered in my head that

I have a love-hate relationship with tricycles. Also called kekes, I am yet to make up my mind as to how I feel about those things. They appear to be safer and more comfortable than bikes (okadas) but they are not anywhere near cars. After several experiments, I still cannot decide, is the backseat more comfortable than the half-seat by the driver in front? First, one would think the back is more comfortable till you have to sit between two people blessed with an ample size. Even when your seat partners are moderately sized, the shifting and dressing you have to do when one person has to get down is mighty uncomfortable. Particularly because, unlike in a car, you can not pick a safe corner by the door (or opening, since there are no windows). While you are busy getting comfortable, somebody will hop in beside you, suddenly commanding you to dress . The keke opens both ways so you cannot complain. At such times, the front appears to be better. At least, you will maintain the same

Good morning people, it's Tuesday already! Before we know it, it will be Friday. Now is the time to make this week count. I realised its been a while since I last brought you gist from my rendezvous with Lagos danfo busses and the associated drama. So I thought I'd serve you a fresh episode this bright Tuesday morning. I had just one plan for my ride to work this morning- sleep. I was going to get in a bus, get as comfortable as possible and snooze all the way to Falomo. And the plan was working out well. My position wasn't so bad, I could even recline without hurting my back. My legs were not complaining and my bag was firmly trapped on my laps. I closed my eyes, grateful for the moment and snoozed away.  For about five minutes.  Five minutes is all I got before the woman seated to my left decided the driver couldn't drive in peace. She wanted him on the fastest lane at all times and was ready to show him the way as a certified lane detector. The drive