BUNMILOFE'S MUSINGS

The terrifying picture of how unbearable in-laws can be does not wait for you to marry. It manifests in your neighbour’s house, reaffirms its existence in the gist your mother and her friends share. And if you need any confirmation, Nollywood will gladly do the honours. The result is that long before we say ‘I do’, we have already mapped out strategies to say ‘I don’t’ to our in-laws, especially the mother-in-law.   However, this is merely a single story, unfair in its one sided representation. Adjusting to your in-laws is mega work and many husbands have been forced to choose between their sweet mother and the love of their lives, but are these feuds really necessary? Perhaps there is a different perspective from which we can consider these issues. First, I don’t understand why the wife and mother have to compete for the man’s heart. In my opinion, both represent different kinds of love and should have separate places in your heart. One is your beginning; the other is your

You know how politicians and politically aware people eagerly await a new government’s 100 days in office? Publications highlighting the government’s achievements in the time frame, bearing assurances and fresh promises to silence wailing wailers flood the media. 100 days in office is usually a big deal. Since my husband is so into politics and so not into anniversaries, I decided to ignore our 3 months month-niversary and celebrate 100 days in marriage instead. Well, it didn’t quite work. And that’s perhaps where I should start. There are several things the bride does not hear before she becomes a wife. Many she is outrightly not told, others she is too happy or too busy to understand. Then she gets married and after the long awaited event, her ‘eyes clear’.  Sometimes, the giddy feeling lasts till the honeymoon is over, but when she returns home with her husband, reality hits. Even when the new wife has the most understanding husband and uninterested far-away in-laws