When Love never comes...

Leah has been on my mind lately. Yeah, that Leah. The one who was smuggled into Jacob’s bed by her dear father. First, imagine the humiliation of your father asking you to marry a man who obviously does not want to marry you. I mean, you have lived in the same house for seven years and he has hardly ever noticed you. It’s not like he’s blind or anti-women. Nah, he saw your little sister just once and his sense flew out, he didn’t even know when he pledged seven years of hard labour for her. After the long wait for his seven year prize, your father has packaged you to disappoint him.

And it gets even worse. Kongi is a bad thing sha, It blocked Jacob’s eyes. Until the deed was done and a new day had dawned, the mister didn’t notice he had the wrong sister. Imagine the embarrassment, Leah was ravished all night and rejected by morning. She must have been crushed. Her ‘husband’ didn’t want her and no other person could have her. She had been branded ‘Jacob’s’ by her night in his bed.

For a long time, I thought Leah was plain or totally un-fine. Till one of these Bible translations explained that although Leah had beautiful eyes, Rachael had a full figure and pretty features. Hmm, #unclebae was right after all, the ‘hot-kim-kadashian’ body syndrome has been melting brains since the birth of history.

At some point, she imagined her sons will upgrade her status in Jacob’s heart but six sons after; Rachael was still preferred. Even when Jacob was scared Esau would wipe out his family, he put Leah and her children ahead in the line. He would rather they die to Esau’s wrath than lose Rachael and her one child. Solomon’s wisdom was in full display when he spoke about the plight of a woman unloved in her own home. C’est tres terrible!

Eventually, it turned out that in the vault preserved for Abraham and his family (picture Ikoyi cemetery), the epitaphs read: Abraham, father of faith. Sarah, wife of Abraham. Isaac- the promise child. Rebekah, wife of Isaac. Jacob- father of Isreal…Leah! The epitaph reads Leah, wife of Jacob. Leah is the wife that lay beside him into eternity. She is the wife he buried in the tomb of his fathers. 

It means he must have understood what value she brought to him at some point in his life.  Perhaps after she was no more, it finally dawned on him what inestimable treasure he had in an earthen vessel called Leah. He probably finally realized how her patience and maturity built his future and held his home together. But she was already dead, he couldn’t undo her pain or reduce her shame, all he could do was bury her right.

I won’t even try to imagine the emotions coursing through Jacob’s mind. I know that love can sabi scatter head. But, would it not have been great if he saw the woman in Leah before it was too late? Maybe he could not go gaga about her, but he could have respected her and appreciated her efforts. Don’t wait till it’s too late, value the people in your life. Yes, she is not everything you desire and you sometimes wonder why you chose her, but she does her best for you every day. You don’t even need to go overboard, just show you care, that you notice. Show that it matters. Spouses, parents, friends, children, all of us- what we have gets realer when we show value and love and all the good things we feel.

I have also wondered; is there anything Leah could have done in her situation? How could she have made her husband ‘see her’? New hair cut? Learn a new skill? Create value with scarcity? Send him lunch at work? Encourage him? Celebrate him on social media? Wear bum shorts in the house? What! If you know, pray tell. Also, if you found yourself in Leah’s shoes and the man (or woman) you are to start your future with just seems so cold and sober about you, what would you do? Take a walk? Work at it? After all, sometimes love comes slowly, or so they say.

P.S I am not pretending I didn’t disappear. I am only announcing that I am back and I am promising to stay this time around. Thanks for believing enough to still be here for me, especially those who kept asking ‘wusup with your blog?’ Gracias!

@lofemide

Bunmi Aramide