Gotta Have That!

A lot of things happen to us that almost take away the things we think we cannot live without. I bet you have said at some point in your life, ‘I cannot do without bathing at night, I won’t be able to sleep at all’. Or, ‘I have to have my phone with me all the time’. Or maybe, ‘my mum, I just cannot live without her’. So many things we cannot do without!

I am also sure that at some point, in defending your supposed inability to do without such a thing to others, you have probably said; ’it’s part of my person, I’m just used to it’.  I bet you even have ready examples of situations when you almost had to do without it and the extreme steps you took, just because, to you, it is that important!

Recently, I have been thinking a lot, I’m trying to find that one thing that is absolutely important to me, that I cannot imagine doing without, that I’ll go to any length to have or protect. And yes, I know life is impossible without God, we all do, so this is not about Him.

I have had friends of whom I said they were the ‘C’ in my complete; the ‘P’ in my perfect and life wouldn't be life without them. Then life happened, distance and time got involved, everyone went on their journey and my life yet continued. There were those songs that could always make me pause to dance or sing along and scream; ‘I love that song’. Yet if you were to ask me now what song was so vital to my existence this time last year, it would take me some time to remember if I even remember at all.

So what makes things so important anyway? How do we get caught up in habits and people such that we define our lives by them. Maybe it’s altogether accidental. After all, they often say love is what happens to you when you are making other plans. You just suddenly realize you are addicted to that fruit or can’t bathe with another soap.

Perhaps it’s a function of utility. Like the phone. It’s your link to everyone, your day planner, alarm clock, reminder and diary, how could anyone ask you to live without it? Or responsibility. You brought those kids into the world and have to see to their welfare. Your world would stop if anything happened to any of them. Still, it could be satisfaction; that deep seated completeness you feel every time you eat an apple or rouse in the night, open your eyes and realize

your husband is beside you. Maybe it’s even the hope factor, as long as this person or thing is there, everything will be alright. Like your dad, who has been your guide all your life. Or your ATM card, your safety from embarrassment and guarantee that you can have the things you need.

 It could be the feel good factor too, your self-esteem sky rockets and you can take on the world when you wear heels and your wedding ring. Many times, it’s simply that this person, habit or thing has been a part of your life since forever, why should you have to live without it now.  Your mum exercised on Saturday mornings and taught you to do same, even though she has been dead for seven years now, a Saturday is not complete without your exercise routine.

I don’t know why I like Sprite instead of Coke but I would often not buy mineral water if there’s no Sprite. I also do not know why the things I hold dear are so dear. But I do wonder what would happen if I had to do without those things I classify under ‘must have’. More importantly, I wonder if the things I value are the things I should value. Is it commitment, indulgence or addiction, this thing I call my ‘person’. Do I judge others on the yardstick of these all important things? It sometimes bothers me that, maybe if God were to visit me tomorrow and go with me through the sections of my day, witnessing my hold to this and insistence on that, my need to clutch that and reliance on those, all my activity, motivations and opinions. Maybe he would shake his head, and solemnly say…you are bothered by so many things, but that which is needful; you have not laid hold of.

Sigh. That would just be depressing. As 2015 begins, I am re-evaluating my life, my habits, dependencies, values and the things by which I am defined. I need to be certain I am majoring on the things that actually count, celebrating the people who really matter and hoping on the things that would continuously remain. Maybe you should do likewise. Particularly as the elections draw near, and Nigeria prepares to decide, it is pertinent that we all stop to think- what is really important and why exactly am I #teamGMB or #teamGEJ. And yes, don’t just sit there like it’s not your business. Research, decide and vote. Nigeria is yours as much as anyone else’s.

Photo credit: captionsearch.com

Bunmi Aramide

 @lofemide